Description: We discovered one of our young students were being bullied at school. At Telios Tutors, our mission runs far deeper than simply imparting academic education. Our duty of care extends to those who are suffering from emotional and physical abuse. We have zero tolerance for bullying and our desire is to not only raise awareness but to collectively derive practical solutions to those that require it. We asked our student a series of questions to help us understand ‘bullying’ from a victim’s perspective, and what changes in the system they’d like to see in order to help others who are suffering.
1) What are some examples of bullying, emotional and physical?
Beatings would be a tangible example. A more subtle example might be: name calling, neglect or social isolation.
2) Tell us about any incidents you or someone you know who has been bullied and how this has affected them?
I was once physically beaten by my best friend in primary school (before we became friends) but we both got nosebleeds and it ended quite badly. Another time in primary school, I was strangled by a transfer student. When the teacher came, I got mad and strangled him instead so I was the only one that got punished. This incident dragged on and multiple parent meetings were made until both the teachers and the other parents apologised. 
3) Why do you think boys generally suffer in silence?
Boys suffer in silence because they feel like it’s their own problem and don’t want others involved. They feel they ought to be able to deal with it alone. Perhaps it’s also pride and not wanting family and friends worry.
4) What are some signs / symptoms an adult should look for if a child is being bullied or going through mental health problems?
Physically, adults should look for any bruises or anything their child is trying to hide. Emotionally, any changes in their behaviour, loss of appetite and mood swings (crying, outbursts, etc… )
5) How does bullying affect your outlook and performance at school?
Bullying can be frightening to victims as it is the place where they are harmed. They may actively avoid school or not able to focus in lessons. They may appear ‘distant’ and ‘distracted’.
6) What would you like to see more of to help support those who are bullied?
A sense of community or unity within the school so that students have seniors they can rely on instead of adults. They may be able to relate better to peers that are slightly older rather than those in authority e.g. headmaster. Their should be a way for victims to speak out without being judged. I also think there should be mentoring sessions for those who want to learn how to become emotionally more sufficient in themselves. So, instead of changing what cannot be controlled externally; learning how to cope internally would be great.
7) What do you think causes bullies to bully others?
Bullies bully when they are bored or irritated. It’s a source of entertainment or catharsis for bullies to see victims suffer. Ironically, some bullies are being bullied at home because they witness such incidents at home or elsewhere. We must address the root of the problem instead of just punishing bullies without coming from a place of understanding.
8) Do you think there is a lack of mental health support for young people?
I don’t think there’s a lack of mental health support but a lack of community where victims can get help from. For example, a student not in any social circle or have anyone standing up for them. Victims often feel vulnerable, unworthy and socially unaccepted. If there were others they could share their experiences with, they may feel safer to speak out.
Do you know of a child who is being being bullied at school? Contact us to speak to a mentor.